#1 08-13-2017 1:33 am

TFCastle
Registered: 07-31-2017
Posts: 2

Would love any input.

Hello I'm in the early phases of this and would love any input. Best wishes

Thomas castle

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#2 Yesterday 4:04 pm

jay-ay
Registered: 03-29-2012
Posts: 84

Re: Would love any input.

Did the girl throw the camera on the ground then ran to the flowerpot? It's confusing, especially when she appears onscreen rather far away from the camera, and the camera sort of hovers in the air before landing on the ground. The physics of the camera doesn't really work, there. How about actually making her settle the camera on the ground first before appearing onscreen and run off toward the flowerpot? Or she turns the camera around and grins at it, then put the camera down in position and move away. It would make things clearer, and also it's a more natural action than for her to throw a camera down carelessly. I don't see the need for her to rush and throw the camera down, considering that all she's doing is smell a flower.

Aside from that, when she starts dancing back to the camera, a lot of her head gets cut off at the top of the screen. When she presents the flower to the camera, the position of the flower is right at the edge of the worksafe area. It's not a flattering framing and the audience eye doesn't get drawn to it nicely. Consider reframing the camera so that it tilts up more and gives space for the girl to do her actions, rather than having half the screen covered by the grass.

One more thing, the girl ended up pretty far away from the camera when she was plucking the flower, and there's a considerable distance between her and the camera at the end as well, when she was presenting the flower. I feel like that's a waste of the opportunity to utilise the fisheye distortion of camera lens. I would think that if I was the girl and proudly showing off a flower to the audience, I would shove the flower right up in the camera instead of staying a safe distance away. I would get right up close to the camera. It seems more natural and enthusiastic. I feel like you can push the ending more, make her more proud or excited, or whatever she's supposed to feel in that moment.

All the best, it's a great start. You clearly can animate decently. I hope you will keep posting updates cause this looks promising!

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