#1 05-28-2017 6:56 am

andresgoji
Registered: 05-28-2017
Posts: 4

May 2017_Depressed Baker

Hi! Here's my blocking for this month's theme. First time taking part in 11 second club. Wanted to add a dialogue piece to my portfolio. Any C&C would be greatly appreciated. I know I'm kinda late, but let's see where I can push this before the competition ends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIUEXP6 … e=youtu.be

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#2 05-28-2017 1:09 pm

Boumboum34
Registered: 04-01-2010
Posts: 48

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

Looks like it's shaping up really well. Your poses look good to me. I think you nailed it so far. Hard to say much further at this rough stage of blocking. Watch out for any emerging floatiness during the polishing stage. Happens when you go to spline tangents, have the computer do too much of the tweening work, and don't vary the speed of movement enough; a common beginner's mistake. Perhaps put in a little breathing, for a nice touch?

I do question one thing though. If the baker doesn't like canned food, why is he eating it? Wouldn't it be better if he just gave a look of disgust, a deep sigh, then put the can down uneaten?

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#3 05-28-2017 1:41 pm

kiwimage
From: France
Registered: 05-04-2013
Posts: 56

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

it's not clear to me if the character is an actual baker or a factory worker. what's your intent ?


"it ain't easy  !" Ollie Johnston

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#4 05-28-2017 4:22 pm

andresgoji
Registered: 05-28-2017
Posts: 4

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

Hi! Thank you very much for taking the time to give me feedback. I want the ending to be sort of funny, and looks like I'm missing something to give the emotion I want. He tells the other guy that he dislikes eating canned food while he eats eat, resigned. I like the idea of a face of disgust. But maybe you guys have some more suggestions.

What I imagined is that the character has just become a baker, so he is still kind of depressed about his life at the factory. But maybe that's to much? Maybe I should remove the hat and leave him as a factory worker?

Here's soime advance on the inbetweening with clamped curves. Thanks a lot guys!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9_hYp- … e=youtu.be

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#5 05-28-2017 4:57 pm

h_lau
From: UK
Registered: 05-19-2017
Posts: 9

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

Hi! Regarding your camera shots, I have a suggestion: when he says "dya like canned food?" & you've had the baker guy sticking his spoon out at the other guy - have a shot of the other guys face with the spoon thrusted in front of him (that way you can put the focus on the guy's disgusted face) and then it can cut back to your original shot.

just a thought big_smile

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#6 05-28-2017 5:32 pm

kiwimage
From: France
Registered: 05-04-2013
Posts: 56

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

andresgoji wrote:

What I imagined is that the character has just become a baker, so he is still kind of depressed about his life at the factory. But maybe that's to much? Maybe I should remove the hat and leave him as a factory worker?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9_hYp- … e=youtu.be

In my opinion, if he had already left the factory, he wouldn't be depressed anymore, but at the contrary, he would be excited and happy to start his new job.
The way I understand the dialogue :  he has decided to be a baker, but still hasn't started in his bakery.  I would'not have him wear a baker hat.
I don't see the point of willingly eating something he hates.
You could make him be the "tasting man" in a can factory, so he is constraint to eat canned food. I think it's funny.
But in this case, you should put off the hat, and give us some context of the factory environment. Maybe it's a co-worker who is talking with him, or the janitor of the factory taking a break.

Otherwise, it's a nice work so far.  I hope you will have the time to finish on time.


"it ain't easy  !" Ollie Johnston

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#7 05-28-2017 7:41 pm

Boumboum34
Registered: 04-01-2010
Posts: 48

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

I agree with Kiwimage's suggestions. I like the idea he's still at the factory and not a baker yet, so ditch the hat. (after all, in the original source of the dialog, Jacob Kowalski wasn't a baker yet and isn't in a baker's uniform.

I see some floatiness/mechanical movement, but I'll assume that's just due to the polishing stage not done yet. Main thing I think needs work, when he says "crushes", his arm swings far too fast and too violently, feels very unnatural. I think you should tone that down; smaller, slower movement.

I like your idea a lot. Works really well.

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#8 05-29-2017 6:39 am

andresgoji
Registered: 05-28-2017
Posts: 4

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

Hey guys. So today I worked a lot on this. Took into account all of your advice. Removed the hat and added stuff in the environment to justify him eating that food he hates. About the camera shots, yeah, I think i'll add one or two oher shots as soon as I'm confident with how the animation looks. Here's WIP 3. Tomorrow I'll go for the polish and adding those shots. Any C&C would be really useful. Thank you very much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fBUBP … e=youtu.be

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#9 05-31-2017 5:34 am

andresgoji
Registered: 05-28-2017
Posts: 4

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

Hi! So This is what I've got up to this point. Tomorrow I'll just polish it a little bit more and add some lighting for presentation. Any feedback is welcome, as I want this piece for my portfolio, so I want to push it as far as I can get it. Thanks a lot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5USCuHV … e=youtu.be

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#10 05-31-2017 5:57 am

Boumboum34
Registered: 04-01-2010
Posts: 48

Re: May 2017_Depressed Baker

If you want this for your portfolio, I recommend that you continue to polish it even after this month's contest is over. There's quite a bit of floatiness and unnatural looking movements you'll want to get rid of.

When the old man says "well", throwing his hands up in the air, I think his arms should move faster there. His arm movement when he says "Crushes" is better, but I'd still like to see that toned down further. I also think he's gesticulating way too wildly when he says "you"--I thought he was going to stab the kid in the face with his spoon.

You do have some good stuff here. The young man crossing his legs. the old man softly slapping his knee just after saying "factory", and the way the old man digs his spoon into the can and and places it in his mouth and chews at the end, really nicely done.

Good luck on your entry this month!

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