#1 02-20-2017 2:15 am

jpenfield
Registered: 01-25-2017
Posts: 3

Feb 2017 Entry WIP

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Hi folks! If you're looking for a piece to critique, here's one now.

Last edited by jpenfield (02-20-2017 2:35 am)

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#2 02-20-2017 3:33 pm

snuffymcsnuff
Registered: 02-04-2013
Posts: 93

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

That's looking really, really nice overall! Love the take on the woman when the first bird flies past. My only major concern at the moment would be that her eyeline feels a little unfocused, like she's looking slightly more to the right than straight at the guy when she's addressing him.

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#3 02-23-2017 6:24 pm

jpenfield
Registered: 01-25-2017
Posts: 3

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

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Thanks for the advise. Here's an updated version.

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#4 02-24-2017 1:24 am

angrybuddha
From: Portland, OR
Registered: 11-19-2013
Posts: 5

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

Looks really great so far. Her right arm is distracting. The shape and movement on her right arm isn't reading as a believable motion mechanically - when she says "why no glass" - I'm not sure what she's trying to do.

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#5 02-24-2017 1:54 am

strixsacra
Registered: 02-01-2017
Posts: 5

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

Looks pretty great so far. Some of the movement of the arms of the characters feel a bit fast as do some of the things flying in and out of the scene. The bird on the glass is spot on though.

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#6 02-24-2017 2:38 am

Majikkutokage
Registered: 02-02-2017
Posts: 10

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

I love your animation, buy I feel you should slow some things down a bit. When the guy says "Oh yea......" His actions are a bit fast and he is freaking out a little to much for it to go with the calm audio,

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#7 02-25-2017 3:36 am

Mrngreeny
From: California
Registered: 11-03-2015
Posts: 17
Power Voter

Re: Feb 2017 Entry WIP

Looking good so far. I think what you should look at now are your eye shapes, the lip sync and your ease in and ease out of poses.

for eye shapes you should make them look more cartoony. for example,if she's looking to her side then the eye furthest from her direction should be at the edge of her eye. make sure that the pupils are always visible if the characters face is visible as well.

for your lip sync, you can simplify the mouth poses, you done need to move the jaw at all the syllables. if you look at yourself saying those lines, you would notice that one jaw movement and one or two mouth poses can say a few syllables depending on how fast you are talking. you can hide your bottom teeth on both characters, it adds appeal since you only need to see the top teeth while talking.

there's a lot of nice movement going on in the animation but there's not enough eases to stop the actions to make it seem organic. you can add a 3-4 frame ease before and after some of your poses if needed. you can also put your anticipations and ease outs as one pose.

watch out for those IK hands as well. they shouldn't look like they are stuck in space. FK work much better for hands that are in the air and/or are holding objects.

it takes a character 4 frames to react to something and you have caroline react 2 frames before. if you just move that pose a few frames forward the reaction would work.

other than that, you got a pretty good scene. keep at it man!

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