#1 09-15-2016 3:00 pm

Elliot Sparks
Registered: 09-15-2016
Posts: 2

I'm look for some feedback on my shooting script

Voice 1 is A wine bottle sitting on a Shelf in a Bar next to Voice 2 who is a bottle of vodka.
Voice 1 start talk about something that is  worrying her.

VOICE 1: I mean when I gave up teaching to join the CIA, I thought everything was going to be different, I was going to be this amazing spy, I’m just, the same boring person I was before…
Voice 2 tries to cheer her up
VOICE 2: Well for what it’s worth, I think you’re brilliant as you are. You’re Exciting!

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#2 09-16-2016 1:27 pm

rixch9
Registered: 06-09-2016
Posts: 35

Re: I'm look for some feedback on my shooting script

So why are a wine bottle and a Vodka in the CIA? and if they are in the CIA why are they on a bar shelf?
Try asking context questions and answering yourself when making the script and see if it results interesting to you.
Maybe these alcohol bottles are working as cover agents in the bar? and if you give life to those bottles you may wanna give life to the rest of the bottles in the bar, it could even make it funnier.. dunno.

What I say is develop you scene, don't just make it in 5 minutes and leave it there, ask important questions. What I think is nice from you is you use unanimated objects, which is different from the lots of "2 friends sit and talking" we are gonna see.

GL

Last edited by rixch9 (09-16-2016 1:30 pm)

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