#1 02-05-2016 7:47 pm

sam.sathler
Registered: 02-01-2016
Posts: 8

What's wrong with my animation?

Hey guys,

I´d like to know what's wrong with my animation for January besides of little rendered (which I think should be no wrong, since it's animation contest). I had put so much effort on that I'd like to know why I finished #50 to get better for next time. Maybe, someone could tell me please.

Here's the link: http://www.11secondclub.com/competition … try/p8Btiz

Last edited by sam.sathler (02-05-2016 8:29 pm)

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#2 02-05-2016 10:07 pm

arcrow
From: New Zealand
Registered: 09-02-2015
Posts: 14

Re: What's wrong with my animation?

I quite like the animation in yours. It's got some really nice poses and is pretty fluid overall, without being too snappy or too floaty. I also like the attention to extra detail in their body language and facial expressions, like when he said "anything else?", that looked very natural, though maybe you could have changed his eyelids a bit. I think you could have pushed a few poses and exaggerated them a little more, to give it a bit of pop (but maybe don't exaggerate EVERYTHING the characters do, otherwise it can look too wild and nothing pops out, though that's just my opinion).

Maybe the reason it didn't rank higher is because there's sort of a lack of context? You can obviously see that the tall guy is giving the other guy information, but without a setting or story surrounding it, it feels more like they're actors on a stage. Some kind of context would have made it a little more interesting.

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#3 02-05-2016 11:01 pm

Dr. Robot
Registered: 12-12-2011
Posts: 95

Re: What's wrong with my animation?

I agree with arcrow that some more context/story would help the most. Technically what you're doing isn't bad, but the animation isn't really about anything.

In terms of animation, the first thing I notice is that the acting choices/gestures on the Malcolm character don't seem realistic. Did you act this out or film reference? The hand gesture he does at "two foot tall" and the acting at "long slender neck" don't feel natural to me. I noticed many entries this month had characters signify or act out the dialog very literally with their hand gestures. Doing this is almost never a good acting choice, and lacks any real specificity or character. I'm also not sure what his expression means after he brings the binoculars down. I recommend filming your own reference.

The Morpheus character is working ok, but it looks like only his head and hand move when he's writing on his notepad. The rest of his body, notably his neck, is frozen in place for a long time. When he does move it also feels a bit stiff.

Hope that helps, good luck.

Last edited by Dr. Robot (02-05-2016 11:18 pm)

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#4 02-05-2016 11:47 pm

taboo
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 06-30-2011
Posts: 32
Karmojo: 32

Re: What's wrong with my animation?

I do like the animation in this one! I think it loses a lot of energy though in the opening shot. The second and 3rd shots are good because the characters are closer to the viewer and fill up more of the screen, but the first shot has a whole 1/3 of the camera view with nothing but white space. Also its a bit odd to have the camera cut the off mid calf when all of the acting is in the torso. Maybe start with an establishing shot to show what's going on, then cut to a medium or medium long shot to start the dialogue. You might check out the PDF on Storyboarding The Simpson's Way to maximize the energy of your animations. smile Hope to see more animations from you!!

Last edited by taboo (02-05-2016 11:47 pm)

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#5 02-06-2016 3:17 am

sam.sathler
Registered: 02-01-2016
Posts: 8

Re: What's wrong with my animation?

Wow! Thank you very, very much, guys! I really appreciate the comments of you all here...

arcrow,  thanks for your comments!  Yeah, I see what you say about context. Thanks for the tip... But I'm glad you liked some things there. I really didn't looked for a snappy animation, as you noticed it is not, but yeah... I agree if I had put some pop it would bring more interest to my scene, more contrast, right? I'll have it in mind next time.


Hey, Dr. Robot! Well, I acted it out actually... the "two foot tall" gesture was literal, I admit it... the "slender neck" I tried to exagerate the gesture, but it seems it wasn't natural. And for the last facial, it was kinda "ooops" face... But if I had to explain that, it failed on delivering the message, right? Thank you, man! Nice comments about the Morpheus too. I will take care of that stiffness.

Nice, taboo! I'm glad you like the animation. I confess that I was unsure about that shot cutting off mid calf, but the way you broke it down was a good way, also because I felt I lost much of their initial facial expressions for setting the camera so far. Surely I will check that book out and I'll be happy for having you watching my animations again, hopefully with improvements.

Last edited by sam.sathler (02-06-2016 3:54 am)

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#6 02-06-2016 8:30 am

arcrow
From: New Zealand
Registered: 09-02-2015
Posts: 14

Re: What's wrong with my animation?

No problem smile Good luck!

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