#1 09-13-2012 5:24 pm

konrad.koko
Registered: 07-21-2010
Posts: 5

The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

Hey guys, I'm planning to put a lot of work into this one. So far it's just in moving storyboard stage, but I hope you can see what's going on.
It is a story about a woman-musketeer, who having cornered a villain in a burning city has doubts about things happening.
I designed them to look very much like the part they're playing:

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/7789/conceptmusketeers2.jpg

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I'd be happy for any feedback. I'm starting a thread despite the early stage of the video to keep myself motivated wink

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#2 09-13-2012 5:39 pm

J.K. Riki
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Registered: 11-04-2009
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

I ADORE the quick character mockups you have there. Such beauty and life. Just hope you keep them as lovely for your final!

Here are my thoughts. I'm not sure about the camera move, I think a cut might work better. As far as the character trying to escape and then crashing back down, it's always been a giant pet peeve of mine when people add in actions (usually big, loud actions) that don't link up in any way to the audio. By all means it's your piece, but I just wanted to share that I think that part has no place in this clip. You hear nothing in the audio that could account for a huge man crashing to the ground. He'll be crashing in silence, which is super distracting. But you have to follow what you think will be best.

I really look forward to seeing how this turns out! Good luck, and work hard. smile


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#3 09-13-2012 5:44 pm

eddie j
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

good work so far expressing your concept!

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#4 09-13-2012 5:47 pm

konrad.koko
Registered: 07-21-2010
Posts: 5

Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

@JKR thanks for the suggestion! Of course you're right about the sound. I really want to have something funny in this clip, but maybe changing it to him trying to sneak out quietly and getting strangled by his cloak could work as well or even better? I'll try to test a few things!
@eddie thank you!

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#5 09-13-2012 5:56 pm

eddie j
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

Changing to "sneaking out quietly and getting strangled by his cloak" Qoute:
I don't think it will help the piece. Maybe very slowly, But you need the force to crash down.
I like it as is and it makes sence. but its your like JKR said.

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#6 09-13-2012 6:02 pm

J.K. Riki
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Registered: 11-04-2009
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

What if you somehow did it so her back was to him as he was trying to sneak away? You'd have to move the camera to the other side of them, I suppose, but that could be done with a cut as she was turning away to give her line of dialogue. Then she could turn to look at him on "haven't I?" oblivious to him trying to escape. Dunno just an idea!


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#7 09-13-2012 6:09 pm

eddie j
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

Im saying the getaway can be distracting and busy in itself. It even weird to say the lines in the heat of battle like that! i think she needs the attention and the frames needed when she brakes down to her knees.

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#8 09-14-2012 10:40 pm

konrad.koko
Registered: 07-21-2010
Posts: 5

Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

Direct Link


[EDIT it seems youtube is changing the proportions of the video, making it squashed. I'll try to fix the issue before posting anything else.]
I took to heart some of the critique, changed the zoom to a cut and turned the fall into a tug. I think it works better now. I thought about changing the angle after a cut like JKR suggested, but in my head the whole scene is one long shot, the joke seems funnier that way. I will experiment more with the camera movement as I'm progressing, I can do it fairly easily until I'm working in Flash. Will have to nail it before moving on to photoshop though.

Last edited by konrad.koko (09-14-2012 10:41 pm)

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#9 09-15-2012 12:44 am

eddie j
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Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

good luck for a clean piece and good job.

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#10 09-15-2012 3:20 pm

J.K. Riki
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From: PA, USA
Registered: 11-04-2009
Posts: 3314
Karmojo: 79
Productive!

Re: The Fall of Musketeers september WIP

I like it a lot more now, nicely done! So the cape is caught by the sword, right? Watch the angle he's pulling at, it doesn't seem to reach the sword in a straight line. Unless it's caught by the girl's knees. I'm not sure, could you clarify?


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