I think it might be a little bit chaotic at the beginning, however that could just be because it is a pencil test. I like the contrast at the end though. I think in order to make the dramatic beginning work, you should concentrate on having a lot of moving holds and pauses between the first guy's actions, that way the audience will have time to catch up with what is happening. Looking forward to seeing the rest!

Cool. The energy and attitude of the right guy matches to the audio very well in my opinion. The beginning with the guy grabbing the other guys shirt looks great - you just might think about staging it differently so the right guy's face isn't occluded. Also be aware that he repeats nearly the same action three times in a row (aniticipation - hands grab shirt, anticipation - hands hit table, anticipation - hands hit table).   I did not notice that the left guy lights the cigarette when watching it the first times because I was watchting the other dude. I'm not sure if this action is necessary at all - I don't really see the point of it.
The ending with the feet on the table and taking a smoke looks great again (just the spine might be a little bit too straight). Looking forward to seeing more.

Last edited by mts (06-26-2012 7:30 am)