#1 04-29-2012 2:11 am

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Moral stories dialogue practice

here is my last month compitition WIP,want critic

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#2 04-30-2012 2:43 pm

KyleG
Upstanding Citizen
From: Schell Games
Registered: 07-16-2007
Posts: 1273
Karmojo: 38

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

I would pull in your camera a bit and try for a more interesting composition
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/kyleGarrett/composition.jpg


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#3 05-03-2012 6:38 am

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

U mean zoom n or out?


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#4 05-03-2012 7:28 am

hornerjimmy
Registered: 02-23-2012
Posts: 44

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

Pulling in he means zoom in, and I agree. As with the apple I don't understand why he changes hands.  His point and main expressive movement is with his right hand.  I assume that makes your character right hand dominate and would likely lead to him eating with the same hand rather than switching.

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#5 05-03-2012 7:56 am

Icontak
Rockstar
Registered: 10-31-2010
Posts: 8
Karmojo: 77

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

I'll try my hand at critiquing.  I hope you don't get angry.


First thing,
You will need some Spine rotation on X and Y and Z overall in the entire animation to reduce the bobble Head feel.

I noticed was how he gestures with his pinky and ring finger while holding firmly on the apple.  It feels awkward and unnatural.  It would work if it was a smaller object (like a cigg).  I would remove this gesture with fingers on frame 7-29 but keep the finger gesture on the second part.

"I chose a half measure" Frame 74-81.  Hand is gesturing forward while the head starts to rotate forward then rotates backwards. I would just keep his initial rotation forward and keep it slowly going forward. It would better support the action of the arm.  Also the gesturing arm should have some shoulder animation as he points.


88-121 The arm with the apple is holding that pose for too long (over 40 frames)
Add a moving hold to it.

110-121 his left arm is sliding.

123-138. Animate the shoulder as the arm gestures.

150-156 clavicle/shoulder needs to start rotating up.

158-161 left hand clips his leg.  Perhaps swing his arm forward after the push off to get a nice arc leading up to the apple hand off.

163-166 both hands intersect each other

167-170 His Right hand intersects again.  Also watch the arc on his hand.  The hand goes on a linear path. Also rotate the joint at the elbow to relax the arm as it swings down.

180-190  He is looking stiff. Need more compression on that spine and drag the head. 

196-201. The arc of the arm isn't working because the hand is foreshortened to the camera.  Perhaps he raises his arm the opposite arc going away from the body up towards the chest?

274-300 Need to loosen up that arm. Follow through and offset some keyes to loosen it up.

274-281 Head just pivots on its axis.  Need to rotate the spine and neck.

Check your blinks.  They are blinking too slow and mechanical.

I hope that helps.  Good luck.

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#6 05-03-2012 11:57 am

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

thanks icontak for your frame by frame critic.i'll soon look throuh


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#7 05-03-2012 1:44 pm

KyleG
Upstanding Citizen
From: Schell Games
Registered: 07-16-2007
Posts: 1273
Karmojo: 38

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

yes what hornerjimmy said..I mean zoom in...currently there's a lot of empty space around your character that doesn't really serve a purpose...zooming it will allow us to focus on him more


Kyle Kenworthy
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#8 05-04-2012 1:54 am

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

hi guys,from your critics i change my animation a little bit,one more time wants your critics.
thanks

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#9 05-05-2012 3:59 am

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

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here is small changes of the shot,wants critics to go forward.


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#10 06-03-2012 12:41 pm

babji3
From: india
Registered: 04-07-2011
Posts: 275

Re: Moral stories dialogue practice

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after long time.here is another WIP,comments please


Animation is an art of life.

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