#1 07-06-2007 9:15 am

ydiaz
Upright Citizen
From: London
Registered: 06-24-2007
Posts: 180
Karmojo: 45

My first take

Hi guys!

I've been participating in another 11 second club recently although only in spanish. They're not as focused on lipsync but animation in general, here's the URL if anyone's interested: http://www.escardo.com/club

Anyway, this month's competition consists in animating a shot on which a character recieves some kind on news (good or bad) on the phone. Here's the vid:

http://video.google.es/videoplay?docid= … 8830270127

Could you guys check it out and critique it?

Thanks!

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#2 07-07-2007 3:50 pm

reelruel
Helper
Registered: 07-06-2007
Posts: 3
Karmojo: 15

Re: My first take

yduaz! whats going on man.. smile ok so i checked out your first take.. lets see ...


1   when he comes into shot.. it looks weird that he is gliding def wanna show the weight of him running in..

2   After he touches the wall and pulls away from it.. his whole torso goes completely still

3. After he grabs the p hone and does that swoop to lean on the wall. i think the swoop can be a little be more faster. 

the end is pretty good when he is startled.


So far those are the major things i see wrong with it.. work your way through those.. and post another version up

hey if you can get hold of a frame counter for your playblasts that would def be cool

good work man keep at it smile

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#3 07-09-2007 7:52 am

ydiaz
Upright Citizen
From: London
Registered: 06-24-2007
Posts: 180
Karmojo: 45

Re: My first take

Hey thanks for the comments reelruel! it's nice to get a fresh eye in the work. I'll try that and see what can I come up with...

Thanks again man! wink

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#4 07-09-2007 10:32 am

ydiaz
Upright Citizen
From: London
Registered: 06-24-2007
Posts: 180
Karmojo: 45

Re: My first take

Well, here's the update:

http://video.google.es/videoplay?docid= … 3580434292

I tried to give some variation to the glide you suggested, there wasn't much time to play with so I basicaly added an up and down position and played with the timing on those. The swoop definately looks better quicker and added some motion in the excited pose. I tweaked a couple of facial poses and the timing on some others besides your suggestions.

I added the frame counter using this script by Mark Tsang in case any 3dsmax users were wondering.

Thanks again!

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#5 07-10-2007 4:08 am

damncreative
Celebrity
Registered: 06-27-2007
Posts: 32
Karmojo: 61

Re: My first take

hey great work. A small suggestion from my side. Some areas the arms r too symmetric, try giving some variation. Would make it much better. keep rocking:)

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#6 07-10-2007 7:41 am

ydiaz
Upright Citizen
From: London
Registered: 06-24-2007
Posts: 180
Karmojo: 45

Re: My first take

Hey damncreative, didn't notice that and you're absolutely right... I'll get on it and keep you guys updated

Thanks! wink

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#7 07-13-2007 6:39 pm

jamagica
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 07-03-2007
Posts: 20
Karmojo: 32

Re: My first take

one thing that stuck out at me was when he gets excited near the phone....he seems to freeze completely...just shift his toros a tiny bit in the time of that pose to keep him alive smile

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