#1 06-25-2007 3:21 am

khet13
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Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 18
Karmojo: 31

June competition WIP

Hi guys,

here is my WIP for the june competition smile

Direct Link



Need comments to improve on my acting and animation smile

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#2 06-25-2007 5:21 am

eric s
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From: Portland, OR
Registered: 06-14-2007
Posts: 353
Karmojo: 26
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Re: June competition WIP

Hey there,

This is looking really nice so far.  smile   I really dig the way you stay in that first pose--it can often be really hard to just hold one position like that, and you're pulling it off really well!


My biggest note for your acting would be to decide who she's speaking to.  Figure out who that person is, what their relationship is to her, and where they are sitting/standing.   This will give your character a place to focus her attention.  Right now, the few times she picks her head up, I can't really tell where she's directing her attention.   Even if she's just speaking to herself, that's still someone to focus on.   Once you figure that out, I think it will become clearer on where her gestures and her eyeline (especially her eyeline) should indicate.


As far as the animation is concerned, it's looking like a good start.   smile   

There are things like her fingers going through the table in the beginning of the scene, and though I imagine you already plan to fix this later, one great piece of advice I heard in school was "Why not fix it now?"   After all, those fingers are a detail that goes towards selling that entire frame, and the whole pose--so set those keys.   smile

I really really really dig the subtle way she picks up her body that first time.  That's really small and sweet.

I feel like the hand gesture on "town" might be a little too big.   Her attitude looks so deflated here, and that gesture seems a little incongruous.   See if you can tone it down about 80% (I know this would be hardly moving the hand/arm at all)--the same goes for her head.

"No wish to live in" is nice and subtle, too.   smile   Maybe a bit linear, so check your spacing on that... but the idea of that motion feels right on.

During the gasp, make sure you're moving her body in a way that makes sense physically.  Right now, it looks like her body rises as if it's being moved my steel rods and a pupetteer--try this move yourself, and feel how your muscles start at your hips, and use your stomach to pull your body upwards, as well as how your hands and arms push off from the table.   Feel all of that happening in your body, and then get those movements into your character.  smile

At the top of the "gasp" her body seems to come to a pretty quick and short stop--overlapping the spine here, and easing in each section of her body will help to loosen this up.

"A life" is looking really nice, too.... I love how the head does that bob-up thing.   smile


Mostly, it looks like your acting beats are pretty solid.   I'd concentrate mostly on figuring out where she's directing her attention.      As for mechanics, I'd look at easing in and overlapping certain body parts, so it doesn't look like everything's moving at the same time, and coming to a complete stop when each part hits its new position.

Good luck!



(P.S.  if you're able to include frame numbers in your next upload, that would help for giving critiques)


The world is full of diamonds; go out and find them.

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#3 06-25-2007 12:16 pm

aja
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Registered: 05-29-2007
Posts: 1311
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Re: June competition WIP

Everything Eric said, plus more fingers fingers fingers!  smile  You've got some great chances to highlight those fingers, so be sure not to put them off till the last minute, get a couple of poses on them soon!  Hands can really help sell a piece. 

Off to a great start!  smile

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#4 06-25-2007 4:55 pm

Mythsnlore
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From: Southern California
Registered: 06-12-2007
Posts: 299
Karmojo: 79

Re: June competition WIP

Very nice, and I'm glad to see someone's using the same rig as I am! My only critique would be to watch the somewhat twinning arms just before "life".

Great stuff, keep it up!

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#5 06-27-2007 4:09 am

khet13
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 18
Karmojo: 31

Re: June competition WIP

Thanks for the advice guys!
especially the 'fingers' tongue

here is my 2nd WIP

Direct Link



shoot me smile

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#6 06-27-2007 6:02 am

mayanimator
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Registered: 06-15-2007
Posts: 61
Karmojo: 32

Re: June competition WIP

Hey Second pass looking nice ....
While moving from from 88 to 102  break spine it look straight , while going back add arc and overlapping motion will add weight in body....also try to break symmetrical poses in last half... delay in hand motion...

Good acting skill is big step for Gr8 Animator ....

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#7 06-27-2007 2:28 pm

aja
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Registered: 05-29-2007
Posts: 1311
Karmojo: 35
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Re: June competition WIP

Yay, frame counters!  Fingers are looking a ton better, and it really strengthens the piece.  Be sure to offset them before you're final, the poses are good but right now all the fingers and digits are hitting at the same time.  I think the gesture where her right arm comes up around frame 70 is overkill, and it takes away from the big emotional beat coming up.  I'd rather see that arm stay on the table until she gasps, bringing it up then.  Also when she gasps, her torso moves back from frame 89 to 106.  This is looking way swimmy right now.  I'd keep the animation on it, but have the torso move up from 84 to 99, with a hold from 99 to 112 or so.  You can also have a smoother drag on her head, you've got the idea of a drag in there now, but it doesn't follow through.  I think you could delay her hands-on-chest gesture to start at 137 instead of 127, holding the hands in their previous pose till then.  Moving holds, of course, not totally dead motionless.  You're missing a "w" mouth shape at 150, keep the mouth in sort of an "oo" shape and bring the lips out more if you can there.  When she looks over at frame 23, don't start to bring her head back down till frame 34, it looks swimmy right now.

This is looking good, keep going!  smile

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