#1 06-24-2007 10:26 am

bubai
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From: Kolkata, India
Registered: 06-21-2007
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june competition wip

this is my clip for the june competition, if any suggession which will help to improve it please!

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:220344

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#2 06-24-2007 12:23 pm

aja
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Re: june competition wip

Hey Bubai!  This is a good start!  I like the acting ideas! 

My only big critique right now is actually on the camera, because it's distracting from the animation.  When you're working with camera cuts, there's a BIG rule called "the 180 degree rule".  It basically means you can't make a cut where the camera moves to the opposite side of the room, because viewers will get disoriented when the characters are suddenly on different sides of the screen. 

Here's more info:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/180_degree_rule

In your scene, the camera cuts to behind their heads, so the character that was on the left is now on the right, and vice versa.  That makes it very disorienting and hard to figure out which character is which.  It's not a bad angle, it's just confusing.  If you could change the cut, or maybe even get rid of the cut, I think it would make your work a lot stronger!  smile

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#3 06-24-2007 2:50 pm

bubai
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Re: june competition wip

thanks sir, I will change the cut. Anything else, please!

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#4 06-24-2007 2:59 pm

bubai
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Re: june competition wip

Thanks sir, for giving me the link, it is really helpful to me. Thanks again.

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#5 06-24-2007 3:05 pm

aja
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Re: june competition wip

No problem bubai, and you can call me Aja.  smile

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#6 06-24-2007 6:43 pm

anymator
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Re: june competition wip

aja wrote:

It's not a bad angle, it's just confusing.  If you could change the cut, or maybe even get rid of the cut, I think it would make your work a lot stronger!  smile

Yeah bubai... I agree with this quote. Also, you have different angles betwen first cut and the last. In the first cut, the secondary character (because of the angle) looks smaller than the one from the last cut. I mean.... you've changed the perspective. For cursivity in your action, it's better this way... to get rid of camera cuts. Just like Aja said... by the way, wich is a young talented lady... is not a SIR or HIM. big_smile

Keep going...


"I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand."
Lightning McQueen

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#7 06-25-2007 3:09 am

bubai
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Re: june competition wip

sorry, anymator i can't eliminate the cut because for the acting reason,i can change it. Otherwise you can't see her expression or acting when she said "a life I have no wish to live"and i think that will not look good. So I decided i will place the camera infront of the first lady as previous i did but now maintain the 180 degree rule.
One more thing second lady is quite shoter than the first one.

Thanks, anymator

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#8 06-25-2007 6:09 am

bubai
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Re: june competition wip

hey all of you, I have changed the camera angle and the animation a little. Now tell me about that, please!

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:221156

Thanks!

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#9 06-25-2007 12:26 pm

aja
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Re: june competition wip

Yay!  The camera is much better!  Great job! 

The two big things I notice are that I'm not seeing her do the big *gasp* sound that's in the audio.  She should take a big breath on that part.  And at the end, when she moves to her friend, she looks very stiff, because her hips, shoulders, and head all move at the same time.  She should probably move closer to the friend (take a step over) and then lean her head over, instead of moving and leaning at the same time. 

Looks good, keep going!  smile

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#10 06-26-2007 11:01 am

bubai
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From: Kolkata, India
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Re: june competition wip

hey everyone, I have changed the shot a little. Mailnly the *gasp* part and the last when she lean her head over her friend . Now tell me about that, Please!

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:222038

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#11 06-27-2007 4:21 am

bubai
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Re: june competition wip

so, will i submit that? though i have changed the eyebrow expression, mainly in the big *gasp* part, but it is not submited here,any suggession which will make it more stronger please tell me.

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#12 06-27-2007 5:49 am

mayanimator
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Re: june competition wip

Hey with two it look nice ....
Add some punch in movement ........Now its moving from one pose to another very slowly......give anticipation in pose  when she turn give fast movement  also think about  arc,overlapping, may be  motion  are not fast but these thing play big role.... u can little zoom out camera ... so hand acting can notice.. while giving heart to another girl in last just make her so sad work well ...... act out in front of mirror will help u so much ....

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#13 06-29-2007 11:33 am

bubai
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From: Kolkata, India
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Re: june competition wip

Thanks to all of you.

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