#1 06-22-2007 3:29 am

Anthony
Celebrity
From: New York
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 19
Karmojo: 61
Power Voter
Productive!

Anthony Travieso June Competition

Heres the beginning to my rough blocking a few hours of work. Theres some things i want to change. When she moves over I think it would be better if she cuts on the action. Also in the next shot i want to move the noose over to middle of the window as well as her. And i may move the noose higher and angle the camera down more so when she turns over she have to look up a bit. Any comment are more than welcome.

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:218819

Last edited by Anthony (06-22-2007 3:29 am)

Offline

 

#2 06-22-2007 6:01 am

airdog01
Upright Citizen
From: New York City
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 9
Karmojo: 49

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

You're my Hero Antonio!!!  Cool framing with the noose.. I think the higher camera angled down would be good.  Keep up the great work.
-Aaron

Offline

 

#3 06-22-2007 9:23 am

AniMauro
Upstanding Citizen
From: Now....Rome, Italy
Registered: 06-16-2007
Posts: 61
Karmojo: 38

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

great!!! very good....

;-)

Mauro

Offline

 

#4 06-22-2007 10:07 am

aaroncmt
Rockstar
From: Waikato, New Zealand
Registered: 06-12-2007
Posts: 168
Karmojo: 76
Productive!

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Looking good!  I like the idea of the nose in the second shot!  Good staging, too.  The brow felt a tad heavy at the start.  The hand shift didn't feel right for some reason... lip sync doesn't feel right at the end... Everything else is great!


Kiwi Animator

Offline

 

#5 06-23-2007 12:23 am

alexzemke
Helper
From: Orange, CA
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 11
Karmojo: 19

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Anthony, you've got a style that's getting more and more recognizable for me!
Looking really good, love the staging and setting, the acting choices.
Great move with the noose, but it may come up too suddenly with the cut. Maybe pan the camera to follow Bishop as she steps in that direction, so the noose just becomes visible in the shot before cutting.


Alex Zemke

"Sleep is for dead people!"

Offline

 

#6 06-23-2007 1:43 pm

aja
Administrator
Registered: 05-29-2007
Posts: 1311
Karmojo: 35
Administrator

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Wow, LOVE the staging!  Really supports the audio.  I like the cut where it is now, gives it a little kick when she starts whispering.  Great acting!  I don't have much to add at this point....  don't wait till the end to get some more poses on those fingers, right now they're looking very un-loved, and that can come back to haunt you.  The jaw opens too wide for almost all the dialogue, be sure to tone that down as you start on the lipsync.

For her expression at the very end....  I love her worried eyebrows throughout the piece, but I think you could work in some more character-driven contrast at the end...  she's the one who set up the noose, right?  So this is her idea.  When she turns around and says "no wish to live", she could maybe move to a more determined expression, like she's talked herself into it.

This is off to a great start, keep going!  smile

Offline

 

#7 06-26-2007 12:15 am

Anthony
Celebrity
From: New York
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 19
Karmojo: 61
Power Voter
Productive!

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Heres my next pass of blocking, i was only able to work on it yesterday from the last time i put something up. If you guys have any comments please let me know. Im almost ready to move into spline.

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:221722

Offline

 

#8 06-26-2007 12:55 pm

dmabson
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 12
Karmojo: 33

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Awesome stuff man!

Offline

 

#9 06-26-2007 1:09 pm

AniMauro
Upstanding Citizen
From: Now....Rome, Italy
Registered: 06-16-2007
Posts: 61
Karmojo: 38

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

very good animation Anthony

Offline

 

#10 06-26-2007 8:59 pm

red3d
Model Citizen
From: San Francisco, CA
Registered: 06-14-2007
Posts: 92
Karmojo: 51

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Really, really nice. The framing of the face is great.

A possible alternate ending... instead of clasping her hands together, she puts both hands on the loop of the noose towards the top and runs them down a little bit (caressing it) and then grasps it preparing to put it around her neck. Right now her look seems like she's scared, but the actor's voice sounds more determined and a bit over dramatic.

Offline

 

#11 06-26-2007 10:14 pm

anymator
Upstanding Citizen
From: Romania
Registered: 06-22-2007
Posts: 19
Karmojo: 34

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

red3d wrote:

The framing of the face is great.

I also like that.
I can't wait to see it finished.


"I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand."
Lightning McQueen

Offline

 

#12 06-27-2007 3:54 am

khet13
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 18
Karmojo: 31

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Nice!
Just a suggestion, like what red3d mentioned, you could also have one of her hands grabbing the rope and holding on to it as well smile

Offline

 

#13 06-27-2007 3:58 am

mayanimator
Upstanding Citizen
Registered: 06-15-2007
Posts: 61
Karmojo: 32

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Hey nice work I think when she say "living in town"  give some acting  to right hand and at word "town" give some more energy means lift the body little more ....  and when she turn and say " all life " something like that
give variation in body movement like first he look down then look up and say no wish to live ...
I hope this will help u some how ...............

"Good acting skill is big step  of Great Animator"

Offline

 

#14 06-27-2007 2:30 pm

aja
Administrator
Registered: 05-29-2007
Posts: 1311
Karmojo: 35
Administrator

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Hey Anthony!  Looking great!  I really love that reveal.  smile  I think your lipsync could use some more work, there's a couple of places where it's off, especially at the end.  Try videoing yourself saying the line, and watch how your mouth changes from shape to shape.  I think her fingers when she puts her hand on her chest before the cut could be stronger, try to find a more organic pose there, maybe with the fingers curled a little more.  Also when her hands are clasped in the next shot, they don't look very intentional right now, be sure to get them in an actual interlocked pose, and maybe have her clench them tighter as she delivers the final line. 

Otherwise looking good, love the acting!  smile

Offline

 

#15 06-27-2007 11:43 pm

RyanHagen
Upright Citizen
Registered: 06-16-2007
Posts: 1111
Karmojo: 48
Moderator

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

Hey Anthony,

I like it a lot,  I can't really add to the comments that have already been left, but I did want to chime in and say I think you have a good idea going for you.  Great job, keep rockin'.


Ryan
Animator
"Frustration is the handmaiden of creativity" ~ Chuck Jones

Offline

 

#16 06-30-2007 1:23 am

Anthony
Celebrity
From: New York
Registered: 06-13-2007
Posts: 19
Karmojo: 61
Power Voter
Productive!

Re: Anthony Travieso June Competition

I want to thank you all for your comments and critique. And also apologize for not being able to return the favor. I've been really busy with other work and family, but i will try my best to stop by next month.

Ant

Offline

 

Board footer

Powered by PunBB
© Copyright 2002–2005 Rickard Andersson