#1 07-23-2017 7:27 pm

MJCA_2012
From: New York, NY
Registered: 01-01-2012
Posts: 120
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I would like to receive comments on this playblast.

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This is a work-in-progress play blast video about a kid work who's in trouble for stealing a candy bar the desk.  Can someone leave comments on this video, please?


michael-ayers-jr.weebly.com

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#2 07-25-2017 6:26 am

NAbreu
From: San Francisco
Registered: 03-15-2012
Posts: 114

Re: I would like to receive comments on this playblast.

Hey MJCA_2012,

Cool sequence you have here. Funny clip smile
First thing that comes to my mind when i see this is the camera position/move of the shots themselves. I think they could serve the story better if you worked them out a bit more.

The first shot: I actually like this camera, kind of ominous and intimidating with the slow push in. Animation is working pretty good too. Only thing i can think to change is maybe make his arm pose a little less symmetrical (elbows not making that triangle) maybe turn his torso slightly so he isn't facing us so directly with his whole body. Also you could maybe move the camera even lower so we are really looking UP at him. We don't need all that space in frame above his head. Maybe scoot him and the box alittle out from the center so they fall on the "third" line.

Second shot: I think this is the weakest of the three. I would play maybe with a shot where we can see the shopkeeper behind the boy in perspective. Like a mid shot of the boy in foreground, shopkeeper in background. Show the candy in the boys hand so we know the jig is up. If you want to keep the shot closer to what you have, move the camera up so we are looking more down on the boy. Adjust his starting pose to be less symmetrical. That pose change as he sort of steps back can be faster and i don't think the squash and stretch is working. the motion is too slow to warrant any sort of smear.

Third shot: I think the animation in this one looks ok so far. Animate the shop keepers body a bit when his head is moving. Right now his head feels alittle detached because its moving so much on its own. Also move the characters that aren't talking a bit to keep them alive. Bring the camera in closer and down so we don't have so much space above their heads. Nothing is happening up there and we don't want to wast that real estate.

Hope that helps,
Rock on!

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#3 07-27-2017 10:46 pm

MJCA_2012
From: New York, NY
Registered: 01-01-2012
Posts: 120
Power Voter

Re: I would like to receive comments on this playblast.

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This is an update play blast video of a kid who's in trouble for stealing candy.  I've made some changes on some of the animation in all three shots.


michael-ayers-jr.weebly.com

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#4 07-27-2017 11:11 pm

isobare
Registered: 04-29-2016
Posts: 133

Re: I would like to receive comments on this playblast.

The stretch that do the kids is slow for me i ll do it more fast
Nice work

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