#1 06-20-2017 4:22 am

AskewAnimation
From: United States - Tennessee
Registered: 02-03-2016
Posts: 14

Backseat_Blues _2017_Feedback_Please

I'm really liking how it looks so far. I think there's a lot of improvement over last month's video. However, I know I have a long, long way to go, so any feedback to keep me on the right track will be very much appreciated.

               

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Last edited by AskewAnimation (06-20-2017 4:22 am)

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#2 06-20-2017 8:29 am

kalel6
From: Dublin, Ireland
Registered: 10-02-2015
Posts: 101
Power Voter

Re: Backseat_Blues _2017_Feedback_Please

one the 1 second mark the hip shifts weight to the right but when it comes back left it stops dead as if it's hitting an invisible wall, the hip should not stop so suddenly, try have it ease in or overshot and settle.

The finger are penetrating the note pad.

after code name he comes to a sudden stop, all upper body is frozen as he writes. try move the shoulder a tiny bit and the head. just add a little something to the body as it looks stuck or frozen.

I would wait about 3 or 4 frames before moving into the final pose.

Looks good though - love the secondary actions he is doing. Would love to see some facial animation though.


“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world"

https://vimeo.com/217295331

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#3 06-20-2017 5:08 pm

spiritfox90
Registered: 03-01-2014
Posts: 2

Re: Backseat_Blues _2017_Feedback_Please

Nice blockout! I agree with the comments above, watch for penetrating the hand and pen through the notebook, it happens a couple of times.

I only have some suggestions that you might consider, take it or leave it:

When he takes a long look at the pen that second time at :06, do some small fast agitated little shaking action like he is trying to get the ink out.  The patting on the leg action seems a little unnatural to me mainly because it does not seem like it would assist with getting ink out of a pen...though it works with the sound effect... not sure how this could be altered it might be better if following a shake of the pen because it will be a more frustrated action. 

The ending poses stand out as the weakest area, the posing seems forced and a little too exaggerated and unnatural.
At :09 turning away from the camera and his hand moving up to block his face sort of disconnects from the viewer. Consider instead having a more open gesture.
Instead of covering his face with his pen hand, gesture backward toward the guy in the car using his notebook hand so that he does not twist as much and he keeps his body open to the camera.
Also consider who he is talking to, turning his head away for that long makes me think he is shifting focus and talking to the arrested guy in the car instead of someone off screen or the viewer.

At the very end: Continue the shrugging action at the very end to complete the action and nod his head a little like he is agreeing with himself.

Well done so far!

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#4 06-20-2017 5:31 pm

AskewAnimation
From: United States - Tennessee
Registered: 02-03-2016
Posts: 14

Re: Backseat_Blues _2017_Feedback_Please

Thanks, Kalel. Just fixing the freezes mad a world of difference. I'll keep my eye open for that in the future.

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#5 06-21-2017 10:46 am

kalel6
From: Dublin, Ireland
Registered: 10-02-2015
Posts: 101
Power Voter

Re: Backseat_Blues _2017_Feedback_Please

Fantastic, it's the best i have seen so far - i'm doing a submission but only started yesterday so can't imagine it will be good, but i'll give it a go. send on you next updated version. good liuck


“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world"

https://vimeo.com/217295331

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