#1 06-05-2016 2:30 am

Mrngreeny
From: California
Registered: 11-03-2015
Posts: 17

June competition -Accent- WIP

Here is what I have so far on the scene that I'm working on for this month. Want to see what you guys think.
(ignore the black part of her hand, it'll disappear when I render)

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#2 06-05-2016 2:30 pm

ericraffle
From: South Africa
Registered: 02-03-2012
Posts: 1781

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

I wouldn't say the animating on your part is bad but for creativity side of things its a bit average, try to think outside the box, be more creative,maybe I'm wrong but I feel as a competition you need to be more creative,imagine if your animation was part of a big movie like Pixar,look at professional movies and see what kind of things they bring to the table to make a similar kind of animation shine.

Just the way I think maybe I'm wrong.


Good Luck !! And happy animating to all

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#3 06-08-2016 9:28 am

ultrasquid
Registered: 05-02-2012
Posts: 1

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

The characters are animated fine, but the situation is a bit nebulous. Some further set construction could give it some more definition.

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#4 06-08-2016 3:54 pm

sloper_war
Upright Citizen
Registered: 12-04-2009
Posts: 167
Karmojo: 46

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

I agree with ericraffle and Mr Squid as well. For a first pass post, the animation is real well off. The animation falls flat because the acting / situation of the scene is pretty dull.
So in other words, the actual execution of the scene is great so far, but the concept or the 'soul' or context of the scene needs to be developed. Also, on the plus side, if you spend some time on the story behind the scene it will motivate and inspire way more creative movements and little subtle acting choices or idiosyncrasies to put into the characters.

Last edited by sloper_war (06-08-2016 3:54 pm)


^.^

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#5 06-08-2016 4:28 pm

sloper_war
Upright Citizen
Registered: 12-04-2009
Posts: 167
Karmojo: 46

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

oh and something a bit more technical. Your character's eyes are still. And your eyeline on the second character, Aziz (from the source), doesn't match up with the first character's eyeline. The dude's kinda just looking off into space above everything for most of the time. Her's is more accurate.

For the lady's dialogue, currently i think you have it so her eyes are very calm and relaxed until she says "But this time". At this point they get pretty serious and wide. I'd exaggerate that change in expression, make it read more. Either make it more apparent how calm she is at first, then switch into the open eyed pose you have now. Or leave the level of calmness at the start, and push the open eyed serious expression further. Maybe get her brows involved in this too. they stay statuesque at the moment. 
Try moving her eyebrows faster into this serious pose at "But this time" as well. It may add some punch to it.

Also for her add some pop in the eye's and eyebrows on "accent", maybe throw a small head kick in there.
The brows could do something here too. You have two choices in my opinion. A forced very serious expression , stern.. eyebrows flat and down. she's trying to strong arm him into the role with the accent but still being somewhat pleasant. Keep her that way until he provides the answer of "an indian accent" at which point she rewards him (condescendingly) with happy face and agreement. OR  raise the brows into overdone false sympathy, a in-genuine platitude, and when she returns to sitting back, get her back quickly into a serious  expression to sell the fakeness of her demeanor.  and again she lights up when he hits the right answer with "indian accent"

on her lean forward, on the dialogue " yaya", i'd push the expression here. The eyebrows need to come up and give the expression of like "yay you did it, good doggie, here's a treat" very condescending and rude. As if she's talking to a child. Adding a head nod would enhance this effect too. a quick triple pump or maybe 2.

Last thing for her, on " i wanna try it " (beginning)  you have a small head turn/dip. I like how you're leading the turn with one eye brow, staggering the next to enhance the turn, however the Screen Right eyebrow on it's way up at the end of the turn, it has a very hard stop and begins going down again. I'd soften it a bit.
On that same head turn I'd push the small squint you have there, make it a bit stronger.


On the dude, hes elbow pole vector is flying all over the place when he brings his screen right arm up, I'd smooth out the arcs on his elbow. 
Other than that I love his fast moving squirmy movements. It sells his uncomfortably. In contrast to the lady's prim and proper, 'Im sitting in a throne' kinda judgmental posture, it does well.  It is a very good start I'd say smile


Hopefully this makes sense for ya.  And it's just my 2 cents. Feel free to take what you want, or discard it all. No worries tongue


^.^

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#6 06-08-2016 7:16 pm

Mrngreeny
From: California
Registered: 11-03-2015
Posts: 17

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

Thanks for the critiques so far! I'll take those into consideration when working on my scene. In the meanwhile, I have a newer version of my scene here.

Direct Link



I decided to have an over the shoulder shot instead to make both characters seem more engaged with each other. I also plan to have a hierarchy in the scene; making the female more dominant by leaning toward Malcolm, while Malcolm moves back and closes himself off to escape the conversation. I haven't touched much on malcolm's arm raise since my last update.

Let me know if you guys know another way to approach this.

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#7 06-08-2016 8:16 pm

sloper_war
Upright Citizen
Registered: 12-04-2009
Posts: 167
Karmojo: 46

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

The cam angle is much better, it seems less dislocated, more integrated.
good move.

It seems weird that the man is  so planted. his hips don't move at all. You would think if he's so uncomfortable he'd at least be shifting his position a lot. Not sure if others agree. I could also see him getting himself up and trying to hide behind the chair to get him outta the situation or something.

go go go goooooo!  good stuff so far.


^.^

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#8 06-14-2016 9:31 pm

Mrngreeny
From: California
Registered: 11-03-2015
Posts: 17

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

Here's my latest version.

Direct Link



I'm working on polishing the hands and toning down the floatiness of Malcolm but what do you guys think overall?

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#9 06-18-2016 12:50 am

greeNeStcheetah
Registered: 06-14-2016
Posts: 5

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

A shot of him when he first speaks may do well to setup his charactor. Great lip-syncing

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#10 06-18-2016 4:06 am

Sam Neale18
Registered: 06-15-2016
Posts: 10

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

I agree with greeNeStcheetah on setting him up, but it's your call. Also super nice lip sync bud, great work.

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#11 06-22-2016 4:42 am

vivinant
Registered: 06-22-2016
Posts: 2

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

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#12 06-22-2016 7:49 am

PhoenixBoltS
From: India
Registered: 06-22-2016
Posts: 3

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

nice work, as everybody said lip-sync is great!
here's some tips, when the girl put her hands down, it wont looks smooth, it looks like a rigid body, you should add some bouncy effects there, like her hands go down and then up a bit.

Have a nice day!


“To infinity…and beyond!”

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#13 06-25-2016 8:50 am

peterdang
Registered: 04-24-2015
Posts: 1

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

Hi, I'm also using the claire rig for my shot and I had the same problem with the black shadows on the arm.

if you wanna remove the black shadows: select the arm geo; then go to (Polygons Menu)  Normals> conform. That should take care of the blackness in the viewport. (at least it worked for me)

Looking good!

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#14 06-26-2016 12:35 pm

Harry_Smith64
Registered: 01-17-2016
Posts: 9

Re: June competition -Accent- WIP

Looking good so far Mrngreeny!

Just a couple of things, I don't really feel like the timing of your first cut to the guy works. There's a second or two after the lady finishes speaking where nothing particularly interesting is happening, and I feel like it really mucks up the pacing/rhythm of your scene. Only being able to see the back of the guy's head as he says his first line is also a bit odd to me. I feel like you'd be better off cutting on the movement of the man going backwards as he anticipates his lean forward. Cutting on the action should make it flow a bit better, although then you've got to cut back to or not show the 'yeah yeah' in response. It's a tricky one!

Another thing is the eyelines of your characters feel a bit off too. 90% of the time it feels like they're looking just past each other rather than at them. Especially on the final pose, his eyeline is waaay too high. Fixing this would boost up your animation massively, and it's already pretty great smile

Finally, with the black shadows on the arm, it's probably due to the normals being annoying like peterdang mentioned. If reversing them doesn't work, you can also go lighting>>two sided lighting in the small bar just above your workspace.

Hope this helps! Keep it up!

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