#1 10-07-2012 10:13 pm

Verse
Celebrity
Registered: 03-22-2010
Posts: 33
Karmojo: 69

Verse's October Wip

Hi guys,

It's been a while since I've participated in the 11 Second Club, and I really like the french accent so that's why I decided to join in on this month's competition ^^

I have a very quick layout ready just to set the 'story' a little bit, it's about a couple having an arguement (the girl is angry and walks away) at a bench, and there happens to be an observing old guy sitting next to them(in the beginning he's glimpsing at the arguing couple)...so when the girl leaves, the old man wants to share his thoughts and tries to lighten things up. (here he's talking about the girl beeing extrêmement difficile)

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Comments and critiques are very appreciated !

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#2 10-08-2012 11:41 pm

Wade Hampton
Helper
Registered: 10-03-2007
Posts: 1
Karmojo: 17

Re: Verse's October Wip

The "story" with the girl just isn't working in context with the rest of the shot.  Keep it simple and just start at the 6 second mark - with just the old man and the other guy on the bench.  The rest is just extra work that doesn't add anything - just makes it a little more confusing.

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#3 10-11-2012 10:16 pm

Verse
Celebrity
Registered: 03-22-2010
Posts: 33
Karmojo: 69

Re: Verse's October Wip

Here's another update guys, still in the blocking fase, there's still some stuff missing though, movement in the legs for the old guy and the animation for the guy at the end...so still pretty WIP

But I could use your feedback and comments right now wink

And yes I'll have to see if time allows it to do the extra frames in the front, but I hope the 'story' is a little bit clearer now as well...

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#4 10-15-2012 10:56 pm

Verse
Celebrity
Registered: 03-22-2010
Posts: 33
Karmojo: 69

Re: Verse's October Wip

Hey guys, another update, blocking 'roughly completed'...

Let me know what you think,
C&C highly appreciated wink

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#5 10-16-2012 3:24 am

Macneil18
Model Citizen
From: Vancouver, BC
Registered: 12-03-2010
Posts: 81
Karmojo: 52

Re: Verse's October Wip

Looking pretty good so far.
Here's my opinion: I would change 2 poses which seem unnatural. When the blue guy's arms drop... it's just too straight and the "Not" pose looks more like a monkey. You should maybe bring the elbows in and find another pose for the hands.

Hope that helps!

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#6 10-16-2012 6:57 pm

Verse
Celebrity
Registered: 03-22-2010
Posts: 33
Karmojo: 69

Re: Verse's October Wip

Hey Macneil thanks for the feedback, gonna fix those poses wink !

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