#1 09-24-2012 9:20 am

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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audition september competition

hell 11 sc,
this is my 1st splining pass(work in progress) still need  to make some changes.Please any critic would be helpful

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#2 09-25-2012 7:37 am

AnimatorR
Registered: 09-07-2011
Posts: 15

Re: audition september competition

Hi,

First of all, the gestures are too theatrical. Second thing, the begin of the animation is too relaxed, doesn't have continuity with the rest of animation where the character have different state of mind.


Cheers!


"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work."
                                                               Aristotle

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#3 09-25-2012 2:38 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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Re: audition september competition

thanks animator r

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#4 09-25-2012 3:50 pm

GREENBERET
Model Citizen
Registered: 12-18-2009
Posts: 269
Karmojo: 57

Re: audition september competition

Hi,

The first half part is good, i like that, but second half you should have put more effort on poses with clear silhouette.

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#5 09-25-2012 4:27 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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Re: audition september competition

thanks greenberet i'll try to polish my second half by making my poses more clear

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#6 09-25-2012 4:42 pm

auriarvin
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 03-02-2012
Posts: 35

Re: audition september competition

Heya,

I have to agree with animator R that it does seem a bit theatrical with the gestures. In the beginning, I would give her more of a worried look in the eyes, and frown the mouth a little more. It almost seems as if shes kind of smiling. To me, around the 11 second mark is where you best capture the actors emotion with the voice. She genuinely feels worried there. Compare this to the intro, and she does seem more relaxed in the in beginning. Overall I would say try to emphasize her concerned feeling more in the intro and take it from there. Keep it up!


Animator | Activision | Los Angeles, CA
www.dropr.com/jamesarvin

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#7 09-25-2012 6:56 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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Re: audition september competition

thanks auriarvin i'll  definately work on those areas as i still need to complete the expression in the second splining pass..

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#8 09-28-2012 7:04 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
Productive!

Re: audition september competition

hello guys i have made some major modifications here is my final bloking pass hope its better then the last one.

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#9 09-29-2012 3:09 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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Re: audition september competition

hello 11sc here is another pass to my work in progress..your valuable critics are welcome

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#10 09-29-2012 4:17 pm

Weiswayne
From: Malaysia
Registered: 08-28-2012
Posts: 18

Re: audition september competition

some of the posses seems to be out of sync with the audio. the part where she said "and maybe... *sigh" the poses of the sigh happens before the audio itself.
and "earn the right to live a lil before i die" pose is abit boring and symmetrical and looks kindda like she's having a heart attack.
you might want to alter the pose a little to make it more asymmetrical.

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#11 09-29-2012 7:36 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
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Re: audition september competition

thanks Weiswayne i'll  make those changes....

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#12 09-29-2012 9:27 pm

piyush mehta
Registered: 10-05-2011
Posts: 57
Productive!

Re: audition september competition

Hello guys,my shot has almost finished except some timing issues and hand movements and ofcourse the lipsync...i don't think apart from that i have time to make anymore changes but still further critique would be very helpful..

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