#1 08-27-2012 3:33 am

TheAdamSwanson
From: Illinois
Registered: 01-10-2011
Posts: 13

RoofTop-Scene August Entry

LAST MINUTE BAGH!
Well after some rig fixes and transitioning myself into Maya for the first time, and after 5-8 hours of work I think I have a solid base to build some nicer animation off of.

I'm still learning the rendering of the program, and the best I can throw at you guys right now is a playblast with no audio. Will be looking up some render info tomorrow. But I hope you all have the audio carved onto your brain by now, and none-the-less, please critique the animation itself.

There are A LOT of errors I am already aware of. And here is where we start off: Nothing on the face, except the mouth and look-at and a few blinks, has been touched. So if he seems emotionless... he is.
I still need to push my poses, add more weight to the motions, and clean up his leg-motions.
The child will be animated soon. I don't expect to have more than some fidgeting and eyes responding to the Dialogue.
In addition, look-at needs to be calmed down a little bit, it's all over the place, the "Stars" hand motion need to be exaggerated, the "STAGE" lipsync needs to be lengthened, fix his ending face, and I need to think of something fitting for him to do with his body on the final Verse.

WITH all of those broad areas to address, if you guys have any specific points to focus on, I would love to hear. This is my first 11 second entry.

thankyou thankyou
I've got 4 Days!! GO!!! XD

The premis of my animation is a Father talking talking to his daughter out on the ledge of a rooftop at night over a beautiful Paris-like city.


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Last edited by TheAdamSwanson (08-27-2012 3:37 am)

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#2 08-27-2012 9:35 am

wolfor
Rockstar
From: Germany
Registered: 03-23-2008
Posts: 4452
Karmojo: 75
Moderator

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

Hi!
Great idea, and the animatio looks nice, too.
You have some pops and stops there in his gestures that would need to be addressed (if you post a quicktime with a frame counter, the feedback could be much more detailed), and his eyes are rolling around as if he were a hand puppet. Eyes usually don't take more than two frames to move, and then they settle. The only time they move slower is when they track a moving object. On that topic, I suggest you read this, its very helpful (an eye-opener it was for me big_smile)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saccade
Keep it up!

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#3 08-28-2012 5:03 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 06-24-2012
Posts: 89

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

Beautiful concept.

When the guy shifts weight to his left, his hand is locked on that knee.  A little rotate on the hand will help hide the IK.  Actually, there are other places with the IK-locking, such as when his left fist rests on his thigh.   I am thinking this is something you are still cleaning up, but figured I'd mention, just in case.

The character's right shoe looks like it is tangenting with the frame (particularly at the beginning).

I am thinking you might work the timing a little more.  It feels like the character, while he is speaking (each of those three times), is moving at pretty much the same speed.  I'm thinking you could play a little more with tempo changes to help accent stronger your key emotional points in the performance.


Paul

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#4 08-28-2012 6:02 am

TheAdamSwanson
From: Illinois
Registered: 01-10-2011
Posts: 13

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

Here we go gentlemen. I've gotten the opportunity to throw a few hours at this tonight, and spent more time than I would have liked, just learning the rendering process. But i've got it nailed down now.
I did a lot of little tweaks and fixes on the body, but i'm still not nearly happy with it. Tomorrow will be a large endeavor on that aspect.

@ Wolf: thankyou tons for the eye help. Take a look at the current scene if you have time and let me know if you think we have improved. I think it looks a helluvah lot better. Thankyou again.

@polly: thanks for the specific points! I havent even touched the legs for more than 3 minutes yet haha, but all this will really help me to go in and clean them up. And thanks for putting my focus toward the timing, I agree.

Here's where the evening has taken us:

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#5 08-28-2012 7:06 am

Aloke316
Participator
From: Mumbai, India
Registered: 10-24-2010
Posts: 107
Karmojo: 10

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

nice!! i think there are too many Hand gestures which are not needed....for eg in the line "when i was little like u" you don't need to gesture the hand towards the kid...and in the line "i live my dream"  u can omit the gesture u used on the word "I"  and the last line "I own the stage" don't need to move his head two times!!.....try to use 1 pose for 1 sentence...this dialouge is very subtle try doing Subtle acting!! the Eyes are moving just too much!! give it some holds..best thing would be too keep it in Stepped mode!!

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#6 08-28-2012 8:30 am

GFanimation
Participator
From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
Karmojo: 7

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

His butt is superglued to the block!  tongue  Shoot some reference, or just lean to your right or left while sitting, you'll notice how much your hips and chest have to move to balance you.  With that said, shoot some reference of yourself acting this out or just possibly shoot some reference.  Shooting reference it's a bad idea either.  smile

Last edited by GFanimation (08-28-2012 8:30 am)


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#7 08-28-2012 10:28 am

wolfor
Rockstar
From: Germany
Registered: 03-23-2008
Posts: 4452
Karmojo: 75
Moderator

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

Hi!
Yes, its definitely better, I just think its still too much looking around, usually you look somewhere, have a few minor adjustments there, then look somewhere else and adjust the lookat as well. some of the movements still seem too slow, and keep in mind that only at very special occasions will the head lead the eye movement, I'd say have the eyes always lead the head rotation in your case.

I might sound a bit picky, but these are just some minor fixes, and else it looks quite good already smile

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#8 08-31-2012 6:14 am

TheAdamSwanson
From: Illinois
Registered: 01-10-2011
Posts: 13

Re: RoofTop-Scene August Entry

Thankyou tons for all of your tips guys.
There are a handful of tweeks that i still want to make in this, and the colors are dark, but i have a crazy busy day tomorrow and I will be submitting my piece early.

Here's what I ended up with. More crit is welcome and will be taken into practice smile thanks again everyone.
Hopefull next months piece will start progressing before the last week. haha


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