#1 08-23-2012 1:40 am

xs2pulz
Registered: 08-13-2012
Posts: 3

11 seconds club august-WIP

Greetings everyone!! well,I've been visiting this site regularly but I just only recently found the courage to try and join the competition. I've seen all the other WIPs for this month and I can say that they are really cool!! Well,I've done some of the major poses for my animation and I am really hoping I could get some feedbacks on how to make it even better..so,here it is

Direct Link



Thank you beforehand!! smile

Offline

 

#2 08-23-2012 2:06 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 06-24-2012
Posts: 89

Re: 11 seconds club august-WIP

I like the story. 

A suggestion for the acting choice.  It feels like the W-pose when he says "I live my dream" is a little too broad.

The way I am reading your piece, is that his dream is to own a little house with a little person.

So, instead of looking up at the sky when he says he lives his dream, I think it would work better to make some type of gesture down at the object of his dream.


Paul

Offline

 

#3 08-23-2012 2:37 am

eddie j
Participator
Registered: 07-25-2011
Posts: 216
Karmojo: 6

Re: 11 seconds club august-WIP

i think this is quite fine, i like the fact that he do care and shacks his head about looking up to the stars. your character is showing attitude. which is great that i think is what we want from a selfish line as this one. people using children but the character  that is talking is selfish. he wants the stage for himself. Great attitude for the character
you may do well.

Offline

 

#4 08-24-2012 1:17 pm

xs2pulz
Registered: 08-13-2012
Posts: 3

Re: 11 seconds club august-WIP

wooow,that's a food for thought for me,I thought that line didn't match with my animation too.. Thanks a million sir pollywoogles and I'll try to figure a better pose or gesture..
Thanks a lot for the encouragement sir eddie j! smile

Offline

 

#5 08-29-2012 2:16 pm

Skyefish
From: South Africa
Registered: 03-24-2012
Posts: 29

Re: 11 seconds club august-WIP

awesome idea!! i don't mind the shake although i do think you should tighten up that animation a little ( make it faster with a bit of a pause after ) also he seems a little floaty. just speed up some of the movements and add some pauses in between. last thing is to relax his eyes in the end after he widened them. cool beans hope it helps :-P


i will sleep when i'm dead :-P

Offline

 

#6 08-29-2012 2:29 pm

Aloke316
Participator
From: Mumbai, India
Registered: 10-24-2010
Posts: 107
Karmojo: 10

Re: 11 seconds club august-WIP

nice animation!!  however i cant understand why he shaking his head after he says the word "Stars"  and after that in the dialouge "i think its fair to say" he nods his head 2-3 times. My suggestions would be that make all the head shakes and Nods lil Subtle...or have rhythms in it..make 1 nod/shake big then the next nod/shake small!!

Offline

 

Board footer

Powered by PunBB
© Copyright 2002–2005 Rickard Andersson