#1 08-20-2012 8:02 pm

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
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My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

After tons of cartoony and exaggerated animations, it's nice to try something different.

Any feedback or comments would be great!

Edit: video switched to h264 codec.

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Last edited by GFanimation (08-20-2012 9:27 pm)


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#2 08-21-2012 3:18 am

bossfogg
From: San Francisco, CA
Registered: 02-01-2012
Posts: 33

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Great! Gotta love the monkeys tongue

You've got some twinning going on from 7:19 to 10:15. I would suggest having one arm lag behind the other a bit to break that up smile

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#3 08-21-2012 11:39 am

GFanimation
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Thanks!  Yeah the twinning stuff and all the offsetting is my next goal after some camera and small timing changes.


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

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#4 08-21-2012 9:18 pm

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Made it suck less smile

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#5 08-21-2012 9:32 pm

KyleG
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

The cut to the little monkey is way too fast, you need to hold on it longer for the audience to be able to register what they are looking at


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#6 08-21-2012 10:07 pm

J.K. Riki
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

I don't know if you even need the cut to the little monkey, to be honest.

Looking good, though!


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#7 08-22-2012 6:10 am

jtmuller
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Registered: 06-03-2010
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

I agree with JKR. You do not need to cut to the little monkey to sell your point. Why not try holding camera 1 just before the big monkey looks down switch to camera 3. Taking away camera 2 will give you more time to hold the pondering thought of the large monkey as he looks up and more time for the little monkey to look up also or to play with his tail or stick his tongue out, giving you more time to add some subtle inner thoughts that the audience can experience through the eyes and actions of your characters. This will really add to your shot and bring it to a whole new level.  As the audience, we already know that the little monkey is engaged in what the bigger monkey is saying so you do not need camera 2 to show us.

You also have twinned timing, especially in the end. Loosen up the larger monkey by offsetting your curves. It will create more overlap.... ie lead with the head, the chest, or the hands. Which ever you feel is right.

Looking good.

Last edited by jtmuller (08-22-2012 6:11 am)

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#8 08-22-2012 9:58 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 06-24-2012
Posts: 89

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

No need to cut to the little guy, but if you do, a reverse over-the-shoulder (so we see part of the older monkey's back) would probably be more appropriate.

With stage, instead of making a "W"-shape with both arms twining, you might just lift one arm (or off-set).

Watch the arm IK -- if the arms move, then you need to move the wrists just a little (that isolated arm with hands locked is an IK give-away).


Paul

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#9 08-25-2012 11:57 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Thank you all for your comments!  I've made some big changes to the acting and got rid of the 2nd shot.  There's still a few poses and motions that aren't perfectly smooth yet like when he looks up for "stars" and some other stuff with the first shot that need tweaking.

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Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

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#10 08-26-2012 10:31 am

zlatantoon
From: Germany
Registered: 12-25-2011
Posts: 105

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Great work!
Can't wait to see more on this!

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#11 08-26-2012 8:21 pm

eddie j
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

great job watch out for the pinotration of the chair and the old monkeys ear

one other thing i think you should have the younger monkey look/turn to the right or something. There not enough motion. But, i see you were doing lighting and rendering effects. Great distraction from animating.

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#12 08-28-2012 12:23 am

ksizemor2
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From: San Francisco
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

The little monkey's reactions should be so subtle that you wouldn't notice it, unless you watched it a second time.  The screen right monkey is the center of attention for this piece.  The only time i would see giving the little monkey any attention is when its nose gets poked.   You could have him react then look up directing the audiences attention back to the larger monkey.  The dialogue says it all, he owns the stage.  The little monkey in shot 1 needs to be rotated more towards camera.  Somewhere between 3/4 and what it is now.  The complete flat to camera doesn't give the pose any depth.  Great stuff so far, keep it up!


"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney

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#13 08-28-2012 1:42 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Lighting is a great distraction smile  Too bad I'm not better at it, it would have been time better spent haha.  Thanks for the comments, I'm going to play with some DOF to control where the eyes looks.  The poke stuff should have the little guy in focus and other wise, the background and little guy are going to be a little blurry.  I'm going to play with the camera as well, I'm not 100% happy with the framing in the first shot, pulling out a little bit and maybe changing from a 50 to 35 fov should give more presence of the little monkey without being distracting and make the second shot more dramatic.

Last edited by GFanimation (08-28-2012 1:43 am)


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#14 08-28-2012 5:24 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 06-24-2012
Posts: 89

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

This is really looking good!  In that last pose you have those lines (from the hands), pointing up diagonally toward the kid.  I'm not sure if it would work, but have you considered, rotating the speaker's head to his left and turning the head down a little, so that his eyes form a diagonal pointing down at the kid?  If that works in the composition, then you can play with squash and stretch on the face, to really accent that diagonal line downward.

Starting at :23 and ending at 1:03, the torso feels locked.

At the very end, those fingers need a little more overlapping action between the fingers/joints, it isn't quite selling for me.  It feels a little too perfect.


Paul

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#15 08-28-2012 7:58 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Great, thanks!  I was actually running out of stuff to tweak haha.


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#16 08-28-2012 10:36 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Made some stuff better, made some stuff worse, who knows....

Almost finished!  A tiny bit more polish, some eye darts and tongue animation.  If anyone notices any which needs to be fixed, let me know.

Direct Link


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#17 08-28-2012 11:09 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 06-24-2012
Posts: 89

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Between 1:16 and 2:06 the spacing on the right arm as it returns to the armrest feels very even.  It might help to show more weight of that arm if you played with increasing the spacing as it falls.  It doesn't have to fall like a bouncing ball, but if we feel just a little gravity it might sell the weight better.


Paul

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#18 08-28-2012 3:19 pm

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

ha, that stupid arm has giving me so much trouble!  And the problem, I never had reference video for it smile  Thanks for giving me carp about it, I'm going to shoot some reference and get it fixed!


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#19 08-28-2012 5:16 pm

Aloke316
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From: Mumbai, India
Registered: 10-24-2010
Posts: 107
Karmojo: 10

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

Very nice!!! loved the monkey touching the other monkey's face!! give lil more movement to the secondary monkey for eg- move its hand or fingers a lil bit!! it is looking Still till it is getting touched by the other monkey!!

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#20 08-28-2012 7:02 pm

eddie j
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Registered: 07-25-2011
Posts: 216
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

this sparkle in the big monkey's eyes stays here. washat a special photoshop job because it looks like the colors are off from the left to the right. but i mainly talking about the right eye.

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#21 08-28-2012 7:06 pm

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
Karmojo: 7

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

It's magic! 

It will look right when it's rendered with mental ray.  What it is is just a polygon disc with a white ambient color and with the viewport 2.0's ambient occlusion is messes up the color.


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#22 08-29-2012 3:26 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
Karmojo: 7

Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

I do believe I am finished with the animation!  Thank you all for your feedback, my animation has come a very long way because of it!  Now onto the rendering and post processing smile

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Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#23 08-29-2012 4:37 am

GFanimation
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From: Port Saint Lucie, FL
Registered: 01-11-2011
Posts: 65
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!


Reel: http://www.gfanimation.com

13th Principal of Animation:  SHOOT VIDEO REFERENCE!

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#24 08-29-2012 4:49 am

Aloke316
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From: Mumbai, India
Registered: 10-24-2010
Posts: 107
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Re: My first serious, emotional piece of animation!

looking nice!

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