#1 08-18-2012 11:05 am

MamoruK
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No Regrets

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First entry EVAR XD been on here for almost a year and this is my first entry.


First pass of blocking out one of the characters, will start blocking out 2nd character next pass

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#2 08-22-2012 10:24 am

pollywoggles
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Re: No Regrets

It feels like you are relying quite a bit on the old man's soliloquy to convey the emotion of the character.  I'd like to see more of it in pantomime (or at least stronger attitude poses).

Even if you keep the poses you have, when the head turns, I would like to feel that turn throughout the body (I should feel that turn in the neck, maybe in the chest, even the hips might move).

I also noticed the kid's chin seems to be forming a tangent with the bed.   

I'm not sure if putting the fist in the kid's face works visually.  (Unless you are working on a rivalry between the two, in which case it might work).


Paul

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#3 08-22-2012 1:44 pm

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

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here's the 2nd pass with the angle concentrated on the 2nd character.

And the thing with the fist its more supposed to convey the old man holding on to the moment not something that's supposed to be aggressive.

Last edited by MamoruK (08-22-2012 1:47 pm)

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#4 08-22-2012 5:28 pm

jabobob
From: UK
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Re: No Regrets

Obviously the lip sync is too chatty, especially for an old dying man. I would lower his arm somewhat when he clenches his fist, make him seem more exhausted as its his last second alive. You could use the body subtlety to look like he is struggling to pull it up - I think your camera angle will make doing that a lot easier. The boy at the end should have some reaction to him dying to pull it all together.

(im guessing that the man dies due to his arm falling at the end)


"What then is truth? A movable host of metaphors, metonymies, and anthropomorphisms: in short, a sum of human relations which have been poetically and rhetorically intensified, transferred, and embellished, and which, after long usage, seem to a people to be fixed, canonical, and binding." Friedrich Nietzsche

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#5 08-22-2012 6:09 pm

Polish63
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Re: No Regrets

Slide the boy, chair and all, screen left to first third of the screen... The dying hand is literally covering 2/3s of your character.


The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. -Walt Disney

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#6 08-22-2012 9:50 pm

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

Yea there are a lot of slow in and outs that I still need to do to convey whats really going on. its still in the block out stage but thanks for the advice. and yea I'll move the kid I think I want him closer actually and he's gonna have more of a reaction as well just haven't gotten to that point ^_^. I'll hopefully have my 3rd pass up later tonight.

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#7 08-23-2012 1:42 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
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Re: No Regrets

For the second pass, I think the camera should be shifted a little more 3/4.  Having it straight-on flattens your character.  It removes any line-of-action you may have on that character, makes him look like he's drawn with a straight, uninteresting up-and-down vertical line -- which, visually, makes the character look like he's actually standing on super-short legs.


Paul

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#8 08-24-2012 8:20 am

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

noted thanks for the tip ^_^

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#9 08-27-2012 2:14 am

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

3rd pass think i need to add some shakes to the arms/hands of both characters. but over all what'ya think so far? Anything you guys think I should push to get the feeling across better?

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#10 08-27-2012 3:21 am

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

ok now most recent version rip it apart please big_smile

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Last edited by MamoruK (08-27-2012 3:21 am)

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#11 08-27-2012 9:27 am

wolfor
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Re: No Regrets

Hi!
The setting looks good, but when dying I don't think anybody would have the strength to move the jaw that fast and staccato like. I think it actually shouldn't move much at all.
This movement is right now distracting from everything else...
Keep going!

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#12 08-29-2012 10:27 pm

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

so here's what im gonna be submitting by friday anything else you guys think i should do to it?

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#13 08-30-2012 2:04 am

pollywoggles
From: Los Angeles
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Re: No Regrets

I'd suggest adding some breathing on the old man's chest (at least during the part where's he's is still alive).


Paul

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#14 08-30-2012 11:10 am

wolfor
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#15 08-30-2012 1:35 pm

jabobob
From: UK
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Re: No Regrets

Main thing that caught my eye was when the old man brought his hand up. Whats with his sudden twitch? You could have him shaking, but at the moment it really seems like a tangent action that draws attention to itself. I really like the hand falling at the end though, good use of overlapping action there though the head movement at the same point seems juxtaposed to it.

I think you are really improving so keep up the hard work.


"What then is truth? A movable host of metaphors, metonymies, and anthropomorphisms: in short, a sum of human relations which have been poetically and rhetorically intensified, transferred, and embellished, and which, after long usage, seem to a people to be fixed, canonical, and binding." Friedrich Nietzsche

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#16 08-31-2012 8:37 pm

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

Wolfor - I see what you're saying but there's also a certain amount of clarity i think that there should be with the mouth movement being how clear the words are being spoken. If it was truly being mumbled things would be much more indistinct.

Jabobob- yea its supposed to convey him kind of struggling to get his arm up.

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#17 08-31-2012 8:44 pm

wolfor
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Re: No Regrets

MamoruK wrote:

Wolfor - I see what you're saying but there's also a certain amount of clarity i think that there should be with the mouth movement being how clear the words are being spoken. If it was truly being mumbled things would be much more indistinct.
....

Maybe, but you can't deny the fact that he is mumbling. The way his jaw is moving right now it's more like he's at full health, and articulating every word loud and clear...

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#18 08-31-2012 8:47 pm

J.K. Riki
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Re: No Regrets

I'd cut the end, after he dies. After the sound stops, really. Once the sound stops, the animation really ought to end.


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#19 08-31-2012 8:55 pm

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

Wolfor - yea but i think of this scene as he's gathering that last bit of life he has left to make sure he says what he needs to and is heard. I"m still editing it down but i don't want tit to be like his mouth is barely moving either.

Last edited by MamoruK (08-31-2012 8:58 pm)

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#20 08-31-2012 10:35 pm

wolfor
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Re: No Regrets

Well its your shot, so do whatever you like, I'm just giving you advice smile But if a storypoint needs to be explained for the viewers to understand (like him gathering the last bit of life) then you might want to consider changing that storypoint, or change the animation so the storypoint becomes clear?

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#21 09-01-2012 1:07 am

MamoruK
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Re: No Regrets

right i know and i appreciate it very much i'm just trying to see if the point of the shot is getting across or not

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